Hmmm... Yes and no. In any relationship, there should be some measure of attraction, and ususally the first responce is to physical appearence. So how one looks definitely matters. Also, "looks" can have a lot to do with your clothing choice or how you carry yourself. An untucked shirt and a slouch will be much less attractive than a clean tucked in shirt with a belt and confident stride. People read other people by their clothes, actions, and look every day, without ever even saying a word. If you carry a look that doesn't match your personality (Ie, a jock trying to dress and act like a prep), then any relationship you have will be difficult due to people reading one thing and then discovering later you're different. Stick to being yourself in how you carry yourself and what you choose to wear and the relationship will be much simpler. Physical feature wise, looks are important in that you will be looking at the same person every day for the rest of your life if you marry them. Time changes how we look, certainly, but that freckle, the dimples when we smile, or our forehead arch are forever a part of us. Which means they are important. But something to remember is that in a healthy relationship, one finds the other attractive, always. Perhaps I'm not a big fan of piercings and a neck tattoo. But I'm sure there's a guy out there that finds that highly attractive. So maybe while she has the red hair I like and a personality that gets along with me, that doesn't mean I overlook what I find attractive or unattractive. Yes, people say it's shallow to base off of physical appearance only, and there's certainly levels that are ridiculous (I love everything about you... except that you're missing your left pinkie finger because of that accident when you were 12.). But there's a healthy level of accepting, overlooking, and needs. I can accept that my wife may not be 5'10". But if she's around that, I'll be happy. I can overlook she has curled toes from dancing, because I absolutely love her dancing and could watch for forever. But I need her to be able to smile and see that sparkle in her eyes when we're out hanging or enjoying each others company.
I find makeup or plastic surgery to be stupid personally. If someone can't respect and love the human being behind all the fake, then they're not loving you, they're loving an idea. All women are beautiful without a single touch of makeup. Find the right man that can see that.However, that being said, I have no problem with it being used as an addendum or addition for certain things. Like men trimming their beard or waxing their mustache for a formal evening, if women want to add some eyeliner or shadow or maybe a little blush, that's fine. But to paint on a new face every morning? You can't even look like the real you if you do that.
So looks are important, but only in the sense that you should be true to yourself and how you look. If the person is basing the relationship solely off of looks, it's a shallow and unhealthy relationship. If the Beast (Beauty and the Beast) and Quasimodo (Hunchback of Notre Dame) can find someone that loves them for their oddities, then so can anyone in the real world. Give it time, give it space. No need to rush. The right person will come at the right time.
So yes looks are important. Important that you say true to yourself and you love your looks, just as the other in the relationship will as well.
-Jake
PS: If you have any thoughts or want me to post my thoughts on something, comment and I'll pick one to post about next time I do!
